Hairy Monsters? That was a few days ago.

Today is something new.

New fears.

Old ones springing back to life.

All in all, a lot.

The fear of finding my way. Finding ample food and water for the horses each day.

The fear of figuring out everything we’ll need for months on end, knowing I never will.

The fear of getting it all together on time. And at the same time, knowing we never do.

The fear of rain and snow and traffic and long dry spells.

The fear of learning maps, and apps, and a phone which is something I have not had since back in the days of land lines and push buttons.

The fear of leaving my beautiful ranch. The kitties, the chicken and ducks and geese, the garden and trees and pasture, the friends and neighbors and river and tub and the warm dry home we finally finished remodeling.

The fear of being without my dogs. The young one. The old one. He who has for thirteen years travelled the world with me. What will he do without without? What will I do without him?

The fear of being apart from my partner with whom I have been a part for twenty years. My husband, my lover, my friend. All these years, these miles, these trails and roads and wild rides, I have relied on him to lead the way. Though he may tell you it’s been me.

The fear of uncertainty. And guess what? Almost all of it is uncertain.

And finally there is this: the fear of losing my way, when what I am trying to do is find it.

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#spiritualjourney #horseadventure #wildride